“I Want to Build a Great Family Like What I Have Now”

Rather strange, my thoughts for this month has been circled around this one word. Family.

It might be because of 3 of my friends which is just 1 year older than me, still pursuing undergraduate degree like me, has completed their half of Islam last month. Or It might be because of my July holiday in Indonesia, which is the first time in my life I really felt a complete family after my eldest brother's family has chosen Islam as his only religion on last Ramadhan. But I surely remember that this thought about family, has started from a simple conversation in MSN chat windows with one of my friend, the one which is heavily active in an organization, a Muslim organization :

"My mother complaining how I became very busy nowadays :("

er... ok, I don't remember exactly how this person said it, but I hope you got my point :p.

From this conversation, I've thought really deeply, I feel that it might happen to me also if my family live in Singapore with me. A problem that i never faced in Indonesia during my high school life because of the relatively light workload in highschool, and i never faced here either since I'm living far away from my family. The problem here is not the problem of getting busy with our work in an organization, especially an Islamic organization. Nope. What I mean is the problem of communicating our effort in His way with the people that is close to us. our family.

O you who believe! save yourselves and your families from a fire whose fuel is men and stones; over it are angels stern and strong, they do not disobey Allah in what He commands them, and do as they are commanded. (At-Tahrim : 6)

I remembered another story that I read from a book “Saksikan bahwa Aku Seorang Muslim” (Isyhadu bi anna muslimun) about 2 families. Both are families whereby the parents are very busy with their involvement in Islamic movement. Having more than 2 groups of halaqoh (usrah) to take care of, being part in a lot of special projects, while also have to work to make a living. Both families have children, future generation of frontline in dakwah and leader in Islam. But when these children were asked about their future dream. Their answer is very different :

children of family 1 : “I don't want to be like father, He looks very busy and stress with his work.”

children of family 2 : “I want to be like father and mother, They looks very happy in whatever they are doing.”

Based on these 2 stories, I believe, that there is no reason that family will hinder us from performing our duty in dakwah. instead family should be part of that duty. Why we feel comfortable in that organization anyway? is it because because we feel enriched when we listen to a scholar of Islam? Is it because we feel really excited after break our own record by walking 16 kilometers in the middle of the night with our friends? or it's simply because we were touched by a kids that stay in a soil-floored, 3 x 5 m2 house with her parents, and her 2 brothers and struggling to continue her education. If it really like that, why dont we share those feelings with our family?

in fact, don't ever let our families see whatever we are doing negatively.

dondelta: “Mom... have you ever imagined walking from Home to SMP 2 (my mom's working place) and then going back home, in the middle of the night?”

dondelta's mom: “er... let mom try to imagine it first... -_-”

dondelta: hahaha Angga just did it mom! 16 kilometers!! 1 am till shubuh!! hahahahaha”

(imaginary conversation)

hmn... maybe I should have done something like that, surely my mom will laugh :)

Those imaginary conversation is just an example of a way that might be applicable to my mom, kind of person who really like to hear and try something new. It surely not be applicable to mom who will straight away said : “Tell me who forced you to do that!!” :p. What I mean with that simple conversation is that with whatever way possible, make an effort to communicate our passion, share our dream, talk about why we are doing this and that with our family.

On a session at the East Coast Singapore, with a group of friends and an ustadz, the ustadz asked us to write down in a piece of paper, only in one word, one thing that really influenced each of us in our life. And then after that, at the back of that piece of paper, write down your action in the future that is inspired by that one word.

After he collected the paper from everyone, he started to pick random paper to read what is written there and shared with everyone. Among a lot of different words that came out on that day, ranging from 'friends' to 'convert', there is this one word which is written by one of the brother that really touched my heart.

That one word is 'FAMILY'

and the action written on the back is “I want to build a great family like what I have now”

simple but sweet

2^nd February 2008

Delta Purna Widyangga